Статья содержит рекомендации из книги коучера Норы Клейвер «Помогите! Как просить помощь в сложные времена». Перечислив причины, по которым люди оттягивают просьбу о помощи, доводя ситуацию до отчаяния, автор развенчивает распространенные мифы и стереотипы просителей и дает рекомендации, как правильно обращаться за помощью, представив в виде процесса, состоящим из 7 шагов.
Have you ever wondered about the origin of the word
“mayday,” the international distress call used by ships and
aircraft? In the preface to her new book Mayday! Asking for
Help in Times of Need (Berrett-Koehler, 2007), M. Nora Klaver,
a Chicago-based master coach, explains: “It comes from the French
m’aidez (pronounced much like the English word
mayday) and literally translates to ‘help me.’” In
everyday life, Klaver writes, the term is sometimes used by people
who have reached a personal threshold of panic or despair.
Do you resist asking for help—until it’s your last resort? You’re not alone. In her book, Klaver lists some of the reasons why people often delay a valid request for help until they have reached the point of desperation. She writes:
The good news is that you can learn to ask for help, says Klaver. In fact, it can be a fairly simple act. But first, you’ve got to debunk some common cultural myths. For example:
Myth: Asking for help makes you look weak or
Reality: There’s no shame in turning to others in true times of need. In fact,
it’s a sign of strength.
Myth: Asking for help signals incompetence—especially at work.
Reality: Seeking help at work shows others that you want to do the job
right—and to develop and learn.
Myth: Asking for help can harm relationships.
Reality: Healthy relationships are about give and take—not just give.
Myth: Asking for help puts others in an awkward position.
Reality: It’s human nature to offer help when you see someone in need—and it’s no different when others see you in need.
Myth: Asking for help might lead to rejection.
Reality: Even a “no” response offers the opportunity to learn more about yourself—and your relationships.
Myth: Asking for help means the job might not get done right.
Reality: Refusing to ask for fear of losing control maintains the status quo. Let go and give your helpmate a chance to shine.
Myth: Asking for help means you’ll have to return the favor.
Reality: Help freely given comes with no strings attached—other than a simple and sincere thank-you.
Myth: Asking for help just isn’t the American way.
Reality: Independence and self-sufficiency are admirable qualities that lead to success. Still, all great enterprises—including our nation—were built on support, teamwork, and collaboration.
The Mayday! Process
To make sure your mayday signals are transmitted with both strength and clarity, Klaver recommends a seven-step approach:
Klaver offers encouragement and hope even to those who are most loath to ask for help. She writes: “Like any skill, practice is required. The more often you ask, the more comfortable you will become. With time, mis-communications will be reduced, anxiety will lessen, and your words will become more eloquent.”
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