Всех ваших коллег можно распределить по типам и классам, с юмором и по-доброму. Может и себя в прошлом найдете? А может и в настоящем?
Sesame Street featured a tune, “Who Are the People in Your Neighborhood,” and, just as the title indicates, made reference to the mailman, the fireman, among others you would likely encounter in your neighborhood (the song makes no mention of hookers, drug dealers or communications people for that matter). Thought we would take a look at the people you’re likely to encounter in the business world… Of course before doing so, I add the disclaimer: All characters appearing in this work are fictitious. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental (yeah right).
Herewith our creatures:
1. Sychophantus Giganticus: No one quite knows what this individual does for a living. Most of his time is spent delegating his work to others (and, of course, claiming credit for it as his own when it works out right and blaming others, when it doesn’t). Favorite expressions include: “That’s great, boss!” and variations thereto. Habitat: Generally, about two steps behind the boss.
2. The Smartest Guy in the Room: These individuals are deadly bores. They tend to take every opportunity to demonstrate their brilliance by sucking all of the air out of a room. This type is noted for telling long and pointless stories and bad jokes (underlings can be seen laughing politely). You’re in for it when you hear the phrase: “This reminds me of the time…”(you really didn’t the half hour that follows, did you?).
3. “The Great Dictator:” Tends to hold a position of authority and lives by the motto: My way or the highway. Short-tempered and downright nasty. Suffers from tunnel vision and has little or no idea about what anybody in the organization is working on or how busy they might be. Colleagues tend to avoid this type lest they get trapped into doing more work.
4. Head in the Clouds (or Stuck Someplace Else) Type: A nicer version of “The Great Dictator.”
5. Worker Bee: Habitat: his desk. Recipient of much work, little praise and a salary that falls far short of his true value. He gets an excessive amount of work because he’s known to deliver, requires little supervision or direction and is reliable (think Toyota Camry). Puts needs of company ahead of his own and willingly defers vacations. He is the foundation upon which great organizations are built.
6. Manana Man: The great procrastinator. Lives by the motto: “Why do today what I can put off until tomorrow or next week?” Generally creates the logjam in everybody’s schedule. Even the most mundane items tend to reside on his desk before turning into coal. Also has what is known as “The Bermuda Desk” as things he has been sent repeatedly disappear. Underlings tend to figure out ways of circumventing his review process to maintain the flow of work.
7. Ms. Pretty Young Thing: Not career-oriented. Generally, a short-term employee. Sole ambition is to find a mate. Known for brightly-colored plumage. Generally, given routine administrative things to do and occasionally they get done.
8. Sports Guy: Knows more sports stats than business-related topics. Good at sports trivia and little else. Typically organizes sports pools for the office. Most of his day is spent talking Fantasy Football.
9. Chicken Little: Everything is a crisis to this type. Tends to wander the halls waving his arms around and yelling. Will use the exclamation point on every e-mail he sends in the hopes that someone may actually read one of them. They don’t.
10. The Bomb Thrower: The subversive in the mix who can barely contain his disdain for the organization. Tends to be a loner and a pessimist. Not terribly vocal, this individual tends to mutter under his breath.
11. The Comedian: Quick-witted. Typically, the funniest person in the room. A plus when he or she delivers. A needless distraction when he or she doesn’t.
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